 The story typically goes: you fall head over heels in love, have lots of sex, make a commitment, move in together, start sharing your dreams and goals, buy a house, maybe raise a child or two, care for each other when times are tough and eventually grow old together. This is the American dream and what most of us strive for - to share our lives with someone special. It is one of the most natural things in the world. Why is it that some people have such a problem with the scenario when it involves two men? We live in a time when gay relationships are a divisive issue. Consequently, the notion that a gay couple could establish a stable and loving relationship worthy of equal civil recognition is sometimes threatening, sparking intense emotional debate. But, falling in love is a universal human experience, regardless of one s sexual orientation. Gay men form stable relationships for the same reasons that heterosexual couples do, but the ties that bind these couples are in some ways different. The Man You Had in Mind explores the intimate lives of five Oregon gay male couples; the forces that bring them together, the journeys they face, and the culture in which they survive and thrive.