 Dr. Simon Lockbuster invented a machine that turns people into diamonds. Augustine Garza knew how to use it to its fullest potential. Together they stole the remains of history s greatest names: Napoleon, King Tut, Lenin & Walt Disney, making them into to diamonds, and selling them on the Celebrity Diamond Network. It was a wonderful, marvelous, incredible plan... until they ran out of corpses. So now they ve enlisted Bergerac De La Houssey and his friend Lulu, to "help" a few B list celebrities go to that place where they ll always be remembered... "on the ring finger of a Hollywood starlet or around the neck of a politician s wife." What could go wrong, besides Bergerac and Lulu being completely inept, or Bergerac falling in love with one of the diamonds, or the police finding the 30 plus human thumbs that Lockbuster has neatly stacked in his refrigerator? Plenty!